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Humorous

  • Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Half this game is ninety percent mental.

    ~ Lawrence "Yogi" Berra - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home at 9:30.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

    ~ Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens) 1835 - 1910 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Let’s have a moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride stationary bicycles.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • It is well for people to change their minds occasionally in order to keep them clean.

    ~ Luther Burbank 1849 - 1926 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

    ~ Bill Cosby - Posted By: anonymous

     

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