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I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous
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Look at me. Worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
~ S.J. Perelan 1904 - 1979
Posted By: anonymous
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It is not all butter that a cow drops
~ John Heywood 1497 - 1580
Posted By: anonymous
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Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows.
~ Al Unser -
Posted By: Bill C
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You know that you're over the hill - When your mind makes a promise that your body can't fill
~ Paul Barrere/Gabriel Paul Barrere -
Posted By: anonymous
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“Meow” means “woof” in cat.
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous
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So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous
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You know something bad is about to happen when someone says, “Hold my beer and watch this.”
~ Unknown -
Posted By: anonymous