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Humorous

  • Why can’t problems hit us when we’re seventeen and we know everything?

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • He who throws dirt loses ground.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • If there was a way to read a woman’s mind, I am not sure I would want to. I hate shoes, shopping, gossip, and I already know I am annoying.

    ~ Unknown - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Sometimes when I’m faced with an unbeliever, an atheist, I am tempted to invite him to the greatest gourmet dinner that one could ever serve, and when we finish eating that magnificent dinner, to ask him if he believes there’s a cook.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

    ~ Elvis Presley 1935 - 1977 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home at 9:30.

    ~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004 Posted By: anonymous

     
  • I don’t drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.

    ~ Robert Downey, Jr. - Posted By: anonymous

     
  • Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

    ~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008 Posted By: anonymous

     

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