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I don’t drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.
~ Robert Downey, Jr. -
Posted By: anonymous
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You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.
~ Bill Cosby -
Posted By: anonymous
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Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.
~ Bill Cosby -
Posted By: anonymous
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You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
~ Lawrence "Yogi" Berra -
Posted By: anonymous
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Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
~ Jerry Seinfeld -
Posted By: anonymous
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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
~ Unknown -
Posted By: anonymous
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You know something bad is about to happen when someone says, “Hold my beer and watch this.”
~ Unknown -
Posted By: anonymous
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous