-
Why can’t problems hit us when we’re seventeen and we know everything?
~ Unknown -
Posted By: anonymous
-
I don’t drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.
~ Robert Downey, Jr. -
Posted By: anonymous
-
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
~ Drew Carey -
Posted By: anonymous
-
“Meow” means “woof” in cat.
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous
-
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous
-
Sometimes when I’m faced with an unbeliever, an atheist, I am tempted to invite him to the greatest gourmet dinner that one could ever serve, and when we finish eating that magnificent dinner, to ask him if he believes there’s a cook.
~ Ronald Reagan 1911 - 2004
Posted By: anonymous
-
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
~ George Carlin 1937 - 2008
Posted By: anonymous
-
Oh what a tangled web do parents weave, When they think that their children are naive.
~ Ogden Nash 1902 - 1971
Posted By: anonymous